How to Turn Challenges Into Growth

 

The Power of Perspective: How to Turn Challenges Into Growth

We all face moments when life doesn’t go to plan.
The loss, the delay, the disappointment — they come for all of us.
But what separates those who stay stuck from those who rise higher isn’t luck, talent, or circumstance.
It’s perspective.

As Tony Robbins teaches, “Life doesn’t happen to you, it happens for you.”
The question isn’t “Why is this happening?” — it’s “What is this teaching me?”

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When Life Feels Like It’s Falling Apart — It Might Be Falling Into Place

Tips for Thinking Clearly When Facing Difficult Challenges

I'm sure you've had times in your life when you wondered how you were going to get through.

But the fact is, if you are reading this article, you obviously got through whatever challenge was facing you. You may have judgement about how well you handled whatever it was you were stuck on, but you can't deny that you got through!

How did you do it?

How might you have done it better...or at least believe you did it better, so as to generate less judgment within yourself about how you did it?

Understanding how you perceive, process, and respond to crisis, or any challenging situation, is vital to moving forward and being able to handle these types of situations as well as you possibly can.

So, let's take a look.

One thing you may have observed about yourself in crisis is that it's often difficult to think clearly when you're highly challenged by how things are happening around you.

It'd difficult to think clearly when what is happening is different from What you expected or how you wanted things to go.

Perhaps you were busy saying to yourself, "This can't be happening!", or "Oh no, I can't possibly handle this!", or even, "I'm going to die!"

When your brain goes into denial mode, and then moves quickly into survival mode, it's difficult to get a clear picture of what's actually going on in the situation, or what to do about what's happening.

Albert Ellis, noted psychologist, speaker, and author refers to the phenomenon as "awful-izing." It's the Oh-my-god, Oh-my-god, Oh-my-god chatter that goes on in your brain when you're overwhelmed and feeling out of your league in finding a way out of whatever situation you're in.

But this type of thinking mentally gets in your way and interferes with clarity of focus, attention, and problem-solving capability. Once the primal, reptilian brain is activated, the decisions you make are geared toward keeping you safe.

Decisions made out of this mind-set are automatically generated to insure survival and do not involve much conscious thought. They are a knee-jerk reaction to a felt sense that you are in danger. And whether you are actually in danger or not, the behaviors that come from this process are an assumption that there is a real threat to your safety that must be handled...right now!

How can you get around this mechanism?

First, let me be clear that I am not suggesting you ignore truly dangerous situations. The primal reflexes are hard-wired into us for a reason.

There is nothing abnormal or pathological about an initial knee-jerk reaction to something. If there is a real threat to your safety, this mechanism allows you to react without having to think about it first.

That's really important if you might die in the next 5-10 seconds!

And there is no technique in the world that will override that initial survival mechanism. (Try not jerking your leg when the doctor hits the front of your knee with a mallet!)

But, you can refrain from hitting the doctor!

When the first 5-10 seconds have passed and you aren't dead or seriously injured, here are some tips for managing your primal brain and allowing yourself access to the rational, cognitive portion of the brain which is much better suited to assessing (after the immediate gut reaction) whether a challenging situation is truly dangerous to your actual survival and what is ultimately the wisest course of action.

In other words, it will help you assess whether there's a tiger in the room, or whether what you are seeing is merely the shadow of a couch?

First of all, take a deep breath...or two or three...

Breathing is good! It gives you a moment of waiting, as well as providing more oxygen to the brain to help with mental clarity.

Next, take a metaphorical, or actual, step away from the situation. Give yourself some room (and some time) to look at things in a broader scope, to see the whole picture rather than just the part that is scaring the dickens out of you.

Now, count to three, or four, or ten...whatever is required to stop your head from spinning, and to allow you to plant yourself firmly in time and space. Make sure you are sitting in the middle of the present moment in time.

Finally, ask yourself three questions:

1. What will most likely happen if I do nothing?
2. Is it just my feelings that are hurt? Is this perhaps an emotional affront to my sense of who I am and how I believe I deserve to be treated?
3. What other options might there be for handling the situation, rather than fight, flight, or freeze?

Bingo!

That's where using your interpersonal skills of communication, emotional intelligence, collaboration, compromise, working on win/win solutions, etc. come in!

Give it a try!

You'll be amazed how much your relationships will improve and how much closer you can feel to people in you life when you no longer act as if many of them are out to get you, and when your reactions are kept in check sufficiently so that you feel more in charge of how you respond to situations in your life!

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3 Hard But Useful Attributes to Help You Succeed

Sometimes we have to do hard things to become great. If we do easy things, our lives become hard in the future. If we do hard things our lives become easy in the future. Doesn't this remind you of the John F Kennedy quote about going to the moon in 1962, " We choose to go to the moon in this decade and do the other things (accomplishments and aspirations), not because they are easy, but because they are hard, because that challenge is one that we are unwilling to postpone, and one which we intend to win". 

To progress in life we have to constantly do things that we perceive as hard. I would like to share with you three hard things for you to do that I wish you commit to in order for you to improve your level of effectiveness and productivity.

These three things will help you as you work towards reaching your goals - whatever your goals are, whether you have career goals, business goals or a personal goal to exercise or become healthier.

(I) Getting up early at 5am

A study done by Texas University in 2008 showed that students who identified themselves as morning people achieved better grades than those who were the "night owls". Further research has shown that early risers are more productive, are better planners and better goal achievers. 

Getting up early has immense advantages. Imagine being able to exercise early consistently every day and meet your fitness goals, meet all your deadlines at work and be able to take on a new hobby. This is what you can be able to achieve if you make a firm resolution to identify yourself as an early riser and get up early at 5am.

(II) Working long hours

Gone are the 60s where there were no mobile phones, Facebook, Instagram, Twitter and the internet. We are more distracted these days than we ever were. It is easy to lose focus because our focus has shifted due to the ever changing technologically advanced world.

Working long hours can help you shift your focus from distractions and turn your dreams to reality. How many people dream of writing a book, how many dream of achieving fitness and look like health magazine models, how many people do you know that would like to start a serious business or obtain a qualification? All of these things require focused work that will take long hours.

Unfortunately few people these days have the ability to switch off from the world and do four to six hours of focused work. Harness your ability to grind for long hours and possess a rare attribute that most people lack in today's world. This will set you apart and enable you to achieve all your goals.

(III) Thinking in the long term

Live in the present but think in the future. Too many of us get caught to pleasures of the moment and forget the future that we want to create. Human beings are the most intellectually capable of all species in the world but remain limited by the inability to think beyond the present.

I encourage you to develop a 5 year plan for your ideal self in all key areas of your life i.e. career, spirituality, health, finances and relationships. Take a moment every day to remind yourself of what you want to achieve in the long term. This will help you not only live in the present but psychologically and subconsciously prepare yourself for the future you want to create.

Living this way will help you create a meaningful life and not get caught in day to day activities that do not help you create the change that you want to see in your life. If you do this you will thank yourself many years later and you won't have to look back in regret and wonder what you did with your life.

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I'M COMING BACK - Powerful Motivational Speech Video

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Afraid of Change - Getting Out of Your Comfort Zone

Are you a person who cannot seem to go out of your comfort zone?

What does it feel like to move toward something that you are not comfortable with?

If you want to be successful and take charge of everything in your life, then you would have to do some major changes and start willing yourself to get up and get out of your comfort zone. Perhaps one of the big reasons why you don't want to get out of your comfort zone is because you are so afraid of change.

You fear the idea that everything will change around you and you don't know how to cope with it. Keep in mind that change happens every day and you will certainly experience changes in your life. Learn to be flexible and have the courage to face these changes in your life. Here are some tips on how embrace change.

Think of Change as an Upgrade

You may not like to get out of your comfort zone because it involves so many changes that may cause you to have anxiety attacks. However, not all changes are bad. Actually, life changes are life lessons that mold your personality and make you a better person. Think of it as an upgrade, which can help you cope with the many challenges in your life. Leaving your comfort zone is a learning experience that gives you so many lessons to become stronger. . An upgrade is always a good thing so don't be afraid to go out there and experience those changes.

Trust Yourself

Change can be scary. Particularly, if you not confident enough in yourself to accept the challenge given to you. Going through changes and doing things that are entirely out of your control are unsettling. Change will totally take you out of your comfort zone(!)

Give yourself more credit than this. You are here today to learn and bring what you learn to the table and strong enough to face these challenges. Think of those times when you've dealt with big changes in your life and how you made it through. Never allow yourself to be defeated because in the end, you will always figure out what to do.

Changes are also Opportunities

Opportunities may come in many forms. Mostly, changes in your life are the opportunities that will lead you to success. If the lessons are not taken up... unfortunately they repeat themselves one way or another.

Changing your career or doing something new will open new opportunities to enrich your life. Sometimes, good things come in unexpected ways. Next time you leave your comfort zone, remember not to panic easily because this new situation might lead you to something greater and better.

There are still many ways on how you can avoid being fearful of change. You may not realize it yet but you are capable of so many good things. Change is inevitable. You have what it takes to move and weave through life without hurting yourself and the people around you.

Have faith in yourself and you will eventually embrace the lessons put forward to you.

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