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Wednesday, May 8, 2019

Finding Your Purpose: How Listening to Yourself Can Change Your Life



There are moments in life that change everything.

Not because something external happens — but because something shifts inside you.

For me, that moment came in the form of a simple decision.

“I’m probably going to get fired if I send this text,” I said to my husband.

“That’s never stopped you before,” he replied.

He was right.

So I sent it.


A Life Driven by Ambition — But Not Clarity

Growing up, I was always driven.

I had big dreams, a strong sense that I was meant to do something meaningful, and the confidence to chase it relentlessly.

I wasn’t afraid to:

  • Change careers
  • Move cities
  • Learn new skills
  • Start over

From the outside, it looked like courage.

And in many ways, it was.

But underneath it all, there was a problem I didn’t fully understand at the time:

I was chasing a destiny I couldn’t clearly define.


Success Without Fulfilment

At one point, I found myself working as a fashion makeover producer on a successful television show.

I loved the impact of the work — helping women feel confident and transformed.

But behind the scenes, things weren’t always aligned with my values.

At first, I justified it.

I told myself the outcome mattered more than the process.

But eventually, I was asked to ignore something that didn’t sit right with me.

And I couldn’t do it.


The Moment Everything Changed

That’s when I sent the message.

It was my final attempt to stand up for what I believed was right.

Surprisingly, I wasn’t fired.

In fact, the situation was resolved fairly.

But something had shifted.

Even though I had “won” in that moment, I realised something deeper:

I could no longer ignore what I felt.

The passion I once had for the job disappeared.

And I knew it was time to move on.


Chasing the Next “Big” Goal

Still holding onto the idea of working in television, I set my sights higher.

Much higher.

I decided I would try to work for Oprah Winfrey.

I poured everything into writing the perfect cover letter.

Every word was carefully chosen.

Every sentence crafted to stand out.

I was confident this was my next move.


The Unexpected Realisation

But then something happened that I had never experienced before.

As I held the letter in my hands, I hesitated.

Not out of fear.

Not out of doubt.

But something deeper.

I stopped and asked myself:

“Do I actually want this?”

And for the first time in my life, the answer shocked me.

“No… I don’t.”


When Clarity Feels Like Collapse

That moment didn’t feel empowering.

It felt devastating.

Because if I didn’t want this…

And I couldn’t stay where I was…

Then what was left?

For the first time, I didn’t have a plan.

I didn’t have direction.

And I didn’t know who I was supposed to be next.


Hitting Rock Bottom

In the months that followed, everything changed.

I withdrew.

I lost energy.

I questioned everything.

It felt like I had fallen into a place I didn’t recognise — and didn’t know how to escape.


The Turning Point

Then, unexpectedly, I received a message from an old friend and mentor.

She asked to meet.

At first, I didn’t want to go.

But something pushed me to say yes.

When we met, it didn’t take long before everything came out.

The job.

The letter.

The confusion.

The breakdown.

She listened.

Really listened.


The Advice That Changed Everything

After hours of talking, she said something I’ll never forget.

“You’ve spent your whole life chasing something out there,” she told me.

“But you’ve never stopped to look in the one place that matters most.”

“Where?” I asked.

“Inside yourself.”


Learning to Listen

She gave me a simple instruction:

Schedule time with yourself.

Each week.

No distractions.

No expectations.

Just space to think and write.

At first, it felt uncomfortable.

Even painful.

My thoughts were raw and emotional.

I questioned everything.


The Process of Self-Discovery

Over time, something started to change.

Some sessions were structured.

Others were messy.

But slowly, patterns began to emerge.

I started noticing:

  • What mattered to me
  • What didn’t
  • What I was drawn towards

It wasn’t instant clarity.

But it was progress.


The Moment It All Clicked

Then one day, it became clear.

I knew exactly what I wanted to do.

“I think I’m supposed to start a blog,” I said to my husband.

“A blog about what?” he asked.

“My story. My experiences. Helping people.”


Finding My Voice

As I looked at my notes, three words stood out:

Positive People Army.

It felt right.

It felt real.

And for the first time in a long time…

I felt aligned.


Why This Matters

Looking back, I realise something important:

Purpose isn’t something you find instantly.

It’s something you uncover.

Through:

  • Reflection
  • Awareness
  • Experience

Most people don’t feel lost because they lack ability.

They feel lost because they haven’t taken the time to truly listen to themselves.


The Real Lesson

We live in a world full of noise:

  • Expectations
  • Opinions
  • Pressure

It’s easy to get caught up in what you should do.

And lose sight of what you actually want.

But underneath all of that…

There’s always a quieter voice.


How to Start Listening to Yourself

If you feel unsure about your direction, start here:

1. Create Space

Give yourself time without distractions.


2. Write Honestly

Don’t filter your thoughts.


3. Look for Patterns

What keeps coming up?


4. Trust the Process

Clarity comes gradually.


Final Thoughts

Finding your purpose isn’t about chasing bigger goals.

It’s about understanding yourself more deeply.

Because when you do that:

  • Your direction becomes clearer
  • Your decisions become easier
  • Your life becomes more aligned

Quick Summary

  • Purpose is discovered, not assigned
  • Clarity comes from reflection
  • Listening to yourself is a skill
  • Growth often comes from difficult moments
  • Your direction becomes clearer over time

If there’s one thing to take away, it’s this:

The answers you’re looking for aren’t out there.

They’ve been within you all along — waiting to be heard.

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