Starting Over - It Only Gets Better!

At the age of 38 I left the only career I had ever known to start over. Like many people I was looking for a better standard of living for both myself and my family. I had invested over 20 years in a military career and was at the top of my chosen field -- for which I received about $40,000 a year. Although the thought of starting over when I was almost 40 was daunting, I set a goal to make $100,000 a year within five years, hung up my guns, and ventured into civilian life. That was 20 years ago. I hit my goal of $100,000 a year in less than three years and went on to become a corporate director with a salary of over $200,000 a year in just over 10 years. But that's a story for another time. This article is about starting over.

In the past 20 years I have learned that there really is no starting over in life. We torture ourselves with self-depreciating thoughts that we have failed, wasted x number of years, or squandered our youth climbing the wrong mountain. When, in reality, we have gained new viewpoints, new skills, and new energetic patterns. You see, you can't start over because every day when the sun rises, you start from where you are and where you are changes with every life experience. I'm sure you've heard people say "if I could only go back to when I was 17 and do it again, things would be different!" But, as we know, we can't! It's the same with thinking you have to start over; it's not only a misperception, it's impossible! There is no regression - life moves forward!

If you have saved your money for the past 20 years to buy a house and then you change your mind and decide to buy a boat, do you tell yourself that you are starting over? No! You are simply redirecting your investment toward a new goal. It's the same with life. If you have invested the past 20 years running a log mill and now you want to sell real estate, do you tell yourself that you are starting over? Yes, most people do, and that's the flawed premise! The energetic truth is that you are simply redirecting your investment toward a new goal. In those 20 years running the log mill you learned supply & demand, interpersonal communications, finance, planning, and a host of other things. You also developed your intuition, learned the value of integrity, made friends, fell in love, walked your dog, and marveled at nature. All of those things changed who you are both intellectually and spiritually. Given all those millions of events, experiences, and feelings, you could not go back to who you were 20 years ago and start over if your life depended on it! As Dr. Wayne Dyer was famous for saying "if you change the way you look at things, the things you look at change." You did not spend 20 years, you invested 20 years. You are not starting over, you are redirecting your investment toward a new goal.

And one more thing (my tribute to Steve Jobs), you are never too old to redirect your investment toward a new goal. I'm 58 and planning to redirect my investments from the past 40 years into a new goal. I'll check back in with you in 2038 and let you know how it went!

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How to Start Again: A Gentle Guide to Creating a New Life You Love

How do you begin again?

How do you rebuild your life after something ends—or when nothing changes and you feel stuck, restless, and quietly unfulfilled?

How do you find yourself again after loss, disappointment, or simply outgrowing the life you once built?

These are not small questions. They are the kind that arrive in quiet moments—when everything slows down just enough for the truth to surface.

Because beginnings and endings are powerful. They can either reshape you into someone stronger, wiser, and more aligned… or leave you feeling overwhelmed, uncertain, and emotionally drained.

And in those moments, you are faced with a choice.

Do you resist what’s happening—wishing things could go back to how they were?

Or do you begin to step forward—slowly, imperfectly—into something new?

The truth is: new beginnings rarely feel comfortable at first. They often arrive wrapped in uncertainty, doubt, and emotional fatigue. Even when change is necessary, it can still feel unsettling.

That’s why, more than anything, this is a time to become your own support system.

To be gentle with yourself.
To be patient with the process.
To trust that something new is unfolding—even if you can’t yet see what it looks like.

If you’re standing at the edge of a new chapter, this guide will help you move forward with more ease, clarity, and self-compassion.

7 Gentle Steps to Begin Again and Rebuild Your Life

1. Rest First: The Often-Ignored Beginning

The first stage of starting over is not action—it’s recovery.

You may feel exhausted. Emotionally drained. Irritable for no clear reason. You might even experience moments of unexpected calm or relief, followed quickly by fatigue again.

This is normal.

Change—whether chosen or forced—requires energy. And before you can build something new, your mind and body need time to reset.

At this stage, your needs are simple:

• Rest
• Nourishment
• Emotional safety
• Supportive company

This is not the time to push yourself into productivity or force positivity.

Instead:

• Sleep when you need to
• Take breaks without guilt
• Allow your emotions to move through you

If you try to skip this phase and rush ahead, you’ll likely find yourself pulled back into it—often with added frustration.

So allow yourself to pause. Rest is not a setback—it’s preparation.

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2. Reflect Without Pressure

Once your energy begins to return, you may feel ready to think about what’s next.

Not act—just think.

This is a powerful stage, because it allows you to explore possibilities without pressure.

You might ask yourself:

• What do I actually want now?
• What am I ready to leave behind?
• What would feel better than this?

Write your thoughts down. Speak them aloud. Share them with someone you trust.

Give yourself permission to imagine something different—even if it feels unrealistic at first.

This stage isn’t about having answers. It’s about opening the door to new ones.

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3. Rebuild Your Energy

Before you create a new life, you need the energy to sustain it.

This stage is about reconnecting with your body and restoring your vitality.

You don’t need to follow a strict routine. What matters is finding movement and activities that feel good to you.

Simple ways to rebuild energy:

• Gentle exercise (walking, yoga, stretching)
• Dancing to music you love
• Spending time outdoors
• Getting consistent sleep

Even small actions can shift your state.

When your energy improves, your thinking becomes clearer, your mood stabilises, and your ability to take action strengthens.

Without energy, everything feels harder. With it, everything becomes more possible.

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4. Reconnect with Your Inner Self

As your energy returns, something deeper begins to awaken—your sense of self.

This is where you start listening inward again.

Your intuition, your desires, your emotional needs—they all begin to surface more clearly.

You might feel drawn to:

• Quiet moments of reflection
• Creative activities
• Mindfulness or meditation
• Time in nature

These are not distractions. They are signals.

This stage is about reconnection—learning to hear yourself again beneath the noise of expectation, habit, and external pressure.

Ask yourself:

• What feels nourishing right now?
• What brings me a sense of calm or clarity?

The answers don’t need to be dramatic. Small, consistent practices often create the

 

biggest shifts.

5. Define Your “Why”

At some point, you will need a reason to move forward—a reason strong enough to carry you through resistance, doubt, and difficult days.

This is your “why.”

Your “why” is deeply personal. It might be:

• A desire for peace
• A need for independence
• A longing for fulfilment
• A commitment to your wellbeing

Write it down. Keep it somewhere visible.

Because when motivation fades—and it will—your “why” becomes your anchor.

It reminds you:

• Why you started
• Why it matters
• Why you deserve something better

Clarity creates direction. And direction creates momentum.

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6. Invite Joy Back Into Your Life

When you’re rebuilding, it’s easy to focus only on what needs fixing.

But growth isn’t just about effort—it’s also about enjoyment.

Joy is not a reward you earn at the end. It’s something you need along the way.

Ask yourself:

• What do I look forward to?
• What feels light, fun, or uplifting?

This might include:

• Seeing friends
• Exploring new hobbies
• Treating yourself with small acts of kindness
• Creating moments of pleasure in your day

Joy restores balance. It reminds you that life is not only about progress—it’s also about experience.

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7. Take Aligned Action

Eventually, there comes a moment when you are ready to act.

Not from pressure. Not from fear. But from a place of readiness.

This is where change becomes visible.

Your actions might include:

• Applying for a new job
• Starting a course
• Setting boundaries in relationships
• Trying something unfamiliar

These steps don’t need to be dramatic. They just need to be intentional.

You may feel excited one moment and uncertain the next. That’s part of the process.

The key is to:

• Move at your own pace
• Stay connected to your energy
• Continue supporting yourself along the way

Because starting over isn’t a single decision—it’s a series of small, consistent steps.

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 Final Thoughts: Trust the Process of Beginning Again

Starting over is not about becoming someone completely different.

It’s about returning to yourself—with more awareness, more strength, and more honesty.

There will be moments of doubt. Moments where you question everything.

But there will also be moments of clarity. Of relief. Of quiet confidence.

And over time, those moments begin to grow.

So if you’re at the beginning of something new, remember this:

You don’t need to have it all figured out.
You don’t need to move quickly.
You don’t need to be perfect.

You only need to keep going—gently, steadily, and in your own way.

Because new beginnings don’t just change your life.

They reveal who you truly are.

How Robert Downey Jr Turned His Life Around, Rebuilt Himself, & Skyrocketed To Success

He was in a tail-spin.

His life burning to the ground... trapped in drug addiction... fired from the show Ally McBeal... and even sent to prison. No one dared to hire him. You'd never guess it today. But years ago, that was actor Robert Downey Jr.

Yet - he turned his life around... rebuilt himself... and skyrocketed to become Iron Man.

How?

Here are four secrets that turbo-charged his comeback. Even if you don't have dreams of being a dynamic actor (or actress)... even if you're facing a different "enemy"... even if you don't even like superhero movies... these four lessons (when implemented) can help you rise back up, rebuild yourself and resurrect yourself to a new level.

Iron Man's 4 Secrets to Rising From Rock-Bottom

1. Laser-Beam Focus On Taking The Next Step

Just like Tony Stark slaving away in a cave to build the original Iron Man suit. Downey's climb out of the darkness took seven years. He rebuilt his credibility, his commitment and his self-confidence one day at a time. One movie at a time. One job at a time.

He says:

I found my way out of the woods

by a subtler and subtler trail of bread crumbs

-Robert Downey Jr.

Not Hulk-like leaps forward. Small relentless steps forward.

(Remember progress is progress)

2. You Can Always Build Your Self-Discipline Muscles

At first, Downey doubted his ability to leave a life of drugs. He knew it was wrecking everything. But kept going back. With the help of Wing Chun (Chinese martial art) he built up his concentration... laser-like focus... and inner calm. This finally busted the vice-grip that drugs had over him.

3. Knowing It's Okay To Ask For Help

When Downey had demonstrated his commitment to staying sober, producers still had ice cold feet. They swore he'd bail out. But Mel Gibson (who had his own demons) who worked with him on a previous film - jumped to the rescue. He believed in Downey so much that he put up collateral to reassure producers.

This gave Downey his shot to star in The Singing Detective... showing audiences and Hollywood that he was heaven-bent on taking his life back. But if Downey was too proud to accept Gibson's help, this never would have happened.

4. Total Belief That Your Skills Will Eclipse Your Past Mistakes

At first, Marvel Comics didn't want anything to do with him. Jon Favreau, director of Iron Man, fought tooth and nail to persuade the studio to hire him. He saw Downey's electricity. He saw his dynamite acting skills overshadowed his dark past.

Here was this force of nature,

who I think was living with this frustration

that he wasn't able to really show what he was great at

-Jon Favreau

That greatness lies within each and every one of us.

We are all forces of nature in our own way.

Find what it is for you.

And start building... rebuilding... and creating something (or becoming someone) that you're proud of.

Because the past does not have to equal the future.

P.S. Besides Wing Chun, there are other powerhouse techniques for quickly tapping more inner strength, inner peace, self-discipline and bringing gusto and confidence when you wake up each morning. One way is an ancient Asian technique that gives you the strength to rapidly rebound from stressful situations. Plus, studies find it develops the "happy region" (left frontal lobe) of the brain.

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