How to Stop People Pleasing and Start Putting Yourself First

People pleasing feels like kindness. It presents itself as being helpful, accommodating, easy to get along with. And for a long time, it can look — from the outside at least — like a virtue.

But people pleasing is not kindness. It is fear. Fear of conflict. Fear of rejection. Fear of taking up too much space. Fear of what happens when you say no.

And it has a cost — one that compounds quietly over time until the person who has been putting everyone else first looks up and realises they've lost themselves in the process.

How to Know if You're a People Pleaser